You don’t GET respect...
You EARN it.
When I think of the USA I think of the long weekend that I just had. I kicked it off with some Golf with my dad, and the rest was history... it was a fun, event filled holiday weekend! Lots of cookouts, laughter, friends, family and hot sunny weather capped off every night with blasts of colorful dynamite sticks in the clear summer night skies. This weekend is officially the celebration of our great country and it is what being an American is all about. Flags waived everywhere and smiles and sun-tans were the normal attire.
All of this ‘flag waiving’ and Patriotism as well as the World Cup Soccer tournament that is currently underway has got me thinking and talking to friends about about a powerful word. A word that is so powerful everyone desires it... This word is so powerful that nations will fight for it, Soccer teams are currently bringing together millions to battle for it, and believe it or not some people will even kill for it.
This word is so powerful that Rodney Dangerfield made millions laughs and millions of dollars off this word. This word is so powerful that in 1967 Aretha Franklin had a hit song about this word that sent her to the top and gave her a name...
Well, here is, in my opinion, the ironic thing about this respect, there are many many people that will earn this with out even knowing it or trying to get it. I mean there are literally people out there in this world that have respect simply by just simply living there life and nothing more... by just being themselves. So while one person is killing for it and demanding it, and while countries are battling for it on the soccer pitch around the world, and Aretha franklin is singing about it and Rdney Dangerfield was making millions with it... another is just living their life and earning it without even realizing it...
Have you ever just met a guy or a girl and in an instant you admire them, trust them, and... well, respect them? I have... and the people I’m thinking of didn’t force me to or even ask me to respect them... it was just an overwhelming feeling and sense of knowing that this person is someone I “respect”.
So what is this word respect and what makes it so powerful? what is the trick or ‘secret’ to gaining respect. How do you know if you are respected?
Now I know that this powerful word itself, RESPECT, is not necessarily a secret, but, there must be some kind of trick or secret, if you will, to getting respect otherwise everyone would be respected... I mean seriously, look around you...I’m sure there are a LOT of people and countries that you do not respect and very few that you do. I am sure that there are many people who don’t respect me... that’s what this is all about... how can we gain and earn MORE RESPECT and be more conscious of respect is, how can know the secret so as to live a more respected life for ourselves and others?
I believe that respect is intangible... it’s a feeling, and it’s an earned position. Respect is earned by words and by actions. Things like keeping your promises, proactively providing service, becoming more personally involved with the success of your friends and customers, and taking responsibility even when the responsibility is not really yours.
Respect is all about the extra effort. It’s the extra mile as they say. It’s the extra measure of sincere effort that puts you in to your dialogue of your process. Others will see that you truly do care about them and will respect the effort.
Here is an important point we often forget about respect... Very few people will actually say to you “I respect you”, but rather they will do things that will prove their respect with out ever having to say a word. Things like placing an order or buying from you.. or even placing a second order or giving you a referral... even things like simply taking your phone call or returning your phone call... these things all show respect!
Here is the secret I was talking about... RESPECT IS PERSONAL!
Personal in two ways...
1.) The more personal you are with others the more respect you will earn.
2.) In order to earn the respect of others you must first respect yourself. (This is the most important secret and the hardest for me)
(2.5) make sure you are constant, my biggest problem!!! ;-)
The secret is easy - Do the right’ thing all the time, and respect will be yours. Say the ‘right’ words, take the right actions, and believe in your heart that it’s the BEST that you can do - for yourself first, and for others second.”
-Jeffrey Gitomer
Because self respect is the hardest I will elaborate on this. You see, having ‘self respect’ you must have confidence in yourself. You have to like what you do. You have to always be willing to serve others. You have to like yourself, and you have to LOVE yourself. And always remember that like and LOVE are two separate issues! You may like yourself for how you look, or how you do at work, or how you communicate, but do you honestly LOVE yourself for the person you are... what you believe in, and or what and who you seek to become?
Loving yourself gives you the ultimate opportunity to respect yourself. I’m not saying that you have to be prude, or a ‘goody two-shoes’ or perfect as GOD knows I am certainly not and yet I have a ton of respect for myself or ‘self-respect’... Constancy is the key!!!!
What ‘self respect’ means is doing the ‘right’ thing for yourself and taking the ‘right’ actions for yourself... and of course loving yourself enough that it is evident when you enter a room - so evident that your expressions come as much from your heart as they do from your mind, and the same with your actions. (again, consistency is the key! make tis a habit!)
So here is my challenge to you as I will take the same challenge. I challenge you to spend the day or rest of this week in retrospect or ‘retro-spect’... make a chart and begin to document all the ‘good’ things that you have done for yourself and all of the good things that you have done for others... Be conscious of all of your words and actions! Be real enough to be able to admit all of the things that you like and love about yourself, this is when the EGO is actually a great thing! ;-)
After you take some time to chart all the good things you say and do. Document what you need to change about yourself that will make you better and stronger. Maybe you don’t like what you see in the mirror or it could be some of the personal choices and or habits that you make, or maybe it’s your environment. But whatever it is, if you don’t acknowledge it, you will never be able to change it or enhance it! You will never be able to grow in earning respect from others until you first grow in respecting yourself!
One of the most interesting parts of respect to me is that there is no measuring tool, there’s no “how much do you respect me?” I believe that respect begins with opportunity and ends with reality.
Here is the “bottom Line” as I like to say,
“You can only truly get respect by earning it, and respect can only grow slowly over time!”
Here is to R-E-S-P-E-C-T, and “I aint Got no Respect!”... here is to our great Nation that is slowly earning respect on the soccer pitch and to us all who respected our flag this weekend and every day as we celebrated a wonderfully free nation... Here is to you and me and are conscious adventure toward liking and loving ourselves so much so that we may respect ourselves enough to be highly respected by others!
CHEERS,
Much Respect...
and ONE LOVE,
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